Tag Archives: matter of heart

Ik-woord of ik word?


Mijn boekenkast staat er vol mee: geschriften over ik. Het begint met dwepende romanfiguren, breidt zich uit naar filosofie en wordt aangevuld met self help literatuur. Zelfs een boek over het gebruik van het woord ik in het algemeen, in gesproken of geschreven tekst, tref je aan tussen deze studies of the universe, mijn persoonlijke universiteit.

Daarna zijn ‘Overstijg Jezelf’ van neurowetenschapper Joe Dispenza en teksten van de Dalai Lama de planken in mijn kast komen bewonen. Ook een interessant boekje met de titel The Cutting Edge (Bjørn Aris, 2012) verstopte zich tussen de geleerde en wijze woorden. Over menselijk potentiëel en hoe het zich op z’n best manifesteert. Hier vormt zich het begin van Life beyond the concept of me.

Hehe, dat lucht op!

Het grote geheel.
Energie en waar het vandaan komt.
En zoiets als liefde, wat is dat?

Van individuele aanwezigheid hier is eigenlijk geen sprake. Ieder individueel ik-je is, oftewel bestaat, überhaupt en enkel en alleen bij de gratie van de relatie met zijn of haar omgeving in de breedste zin van het woord. Een omgeving waarvan ‘de ander’ van Beauvoir, de wil van Schopenhauer, Freuds verleidelijke theoriën, Jungs archetypen en Tolstojs gecompliceerde en paradoxale karakters deel uitmaken. En waar concepten zoals verleden, heden, toekomst en de maatschappij gewoon projecties zijn van het vermoeden van een groter geheel.

Ik-jes zijn deeltjes energie zoals alles. Vestig je aandacht erop dan materialiseren ze. Waarbij de ik-energie steeds geconcentreerder wordt: ik word. Concentreer je je er niet op dan blijven ik-deeltjes in de potentiële fase, niet meer of minder dan hybernating onderdeeltjes van het grote geheel. Hybernating is wat je computer doet als je het toetsenbord een tijdje niet aanraakt. En het is de Engelse vertaling van een winterslaap doen. Het grote geheel waarin we dan tijdelijk ten onder gaan wordt ook wel omschreven en/of gevisualiseerd als het onbewuste, de goddelijke eenheid, de zee of het universum: feel free to choose your own destination.

Al die relaties samen met de moeilijke, lieve, eerlijke en poëtische woorden die ze met zich meebrengen hebben één ding gemeen: het zijn sta-in-de-wegs voor communicatie, voor het maken van de verbinding. Nu weten we waar het christelijke gebruik ‘ter communie gaan’ vandaan komt: communiceren. En wij maar denken dat dat een modern begrip is! Als relaties en woorden communicatie in de weg staan, en je dit logisch doortrekt, kom je tot het interessante resultaat dat het ik-woord in de weg staat van ik word. Want minder ik-zijn leidt tot meer zijn. Hier is het complexe en paradoxale karakter van Tolstoj’s Anna Karenina niets bij.

Hybernaten en regenereren hebben met elkaar te maken. Het doet denken aan mediteren. Etymologisch gezien is mediteren verwant aan mederi (genezen) en aan het woord meten. Het overpeinzen waard! Want hoe heet het als mensen hybernaten? Mediteren! Je afsluiten van de bewuste wereld om je te meten aan het grote geheel. Als het ik-woord negatief is, is ‘ik word’ positief. Samen vormen ze een mooi plaatje, als een foto. Dat als je er even bij stil blijft staan (meditatie) komt tot regeneratie.

Woorden vormen dan misschien obstakels in het communiceren, mooi zijn ze wel! In potentie…

Basic human needs vs creation of events

I am sitting in the sun. Fresh golden rays of early spring are reflected in glass-in-lead windows and the silent water of an old Dutch harbour town. History and commerce is what the beautiful 17th Century buildings are made of. At a certain point in my life I disrespectfully nicknamed this pittoresque little jewel of Dutch history as Horny Town. I was young. An interesting yet unconscious need surfaced. To challenge or counter balance some heavy and rich historical remnants of sturdy West Frysian inhabitants. Frysian people are independent and self contained. They don’t relate to Romans nor to South Europeans nor to more Southern Dutchies like me. Side path, that is not the history meant to be written here.

Now, in a more conscious way experiencing this little town bordering at what once used to be the so called Southern Sea (!), I perceive it completely different. Obviously Hoorn has been overruled by history in general and the significant Dutch accomplishment of ‘sea grabbing’ in specific. What once used to be the Southern Sea is now our big lake IJsselmeer, ‘damned’ by our most famous dike: the Afsluitdijk. But I imagine the hussling and buzz of ‘those days’. For example a fresh spring day in the year 1602. In this year the Dutch V.O.C., United East Indian Company, is installed. Hoorn sends seven delegates. Hoorn and it’s inhabitants back then must have deeply experienced the economical swing and energy of those revolutionary times. Albeit no Horny sexual energy, a lot of creative and regenerative power went around, fierce fully. Ships and vessels come ashore, unload their precious content, immediate buying and selling takes place, trade and people that meet to do business, women who weep over lost sailors, kids and pets are running around, steeling or receiving love and other forms of nutrition.

People come together not only because they like to come together. People come together because they have to. In order to meet their basic needs. The example of a roaring harbour town at the start of the Dutch Golden Age may evoke images of some famous creative outbursts that resulted from it: Dutch painting. What does it has to do with our present day event business?

People gather to meet their basic needs. Non material emotions and material stuff have to be interchanged. It’s often difficult to distinguish between the emotive and the material ingredients. If you look at it as an outsider, from another moment in time even, it’s difficult to identify material demand and its satisfaction from emotional demand and its satisfaction. For an outsider this is difficult. For the subject him or herself as the participant in the event, it’s impossible. Afterwards you may ask yourself. Did I actually get what I came for or did I feel, act and think as I was expected to? By whom?

Here event controllers come in. I hope you don’t mind me calling it so. Event planning, organizing and hosting are three different processes. Together these form event controlling. 

Why do people gather at an event in the first place? To fulfill an emotional or a material need? Let an event not be created without having answered this question. Are you facilitating, selling or pacifying emotions. With or without material stuff? What they come for at Wall Street is obvious. However you can ask yourself, when they stay, are they in for the money or is it  the priceless thrill and excitement of the prospected possibility to gain money that glues them to the location?

Event creation for me is synonymous with controlling an event: planning, organizing and hosting. They go together like horses and a carriage. Taking care of peoples emotional and other defenite human needs such as food&beverage, is part of the most basic and most important ingredients of ?

Human nature!


And what else?



So this is what the actual contribution of the event controller is all about. If you look at it from this angle, organizing and coordinating human gatherings, it’s something that doesn’t require a certain personality or any studies. It requires being human and preferably some practice in, and an idea of, heritage of the humanities. As events are made of basic human needs, they should ideally be created by basic human beings. We are not human doings. Do less, BE and stay aware to be able to attentively pave the road and facilitate creative and regenerative processes.

Coming together is a basic need in human affairs. Proud to Facilitate.






ABC – about order and disorder

A) Catering Consultant
B) Catering Academy
C) The Foundation

‘So where do I start?’
‘At A or at the Foundation?’
‘Guys stop!’
‘Even before starting out, I get stuck’

Does anyone recognize this?

That’s why we call in for consultants!

Let me explain.
A is my expertise.
After over 20 years of catering craftsmanship if I may call it so, I just know a hell of a lot about catering. More about catering then about setting up a consultancy business. Get me your ABC’s of the annual end of the year corporate event, a funeral ceremony, a fundraising dinner, a wedding reception or a regular network meeting and I put your ABC flawless in order. Without thinking of what comes first and what comes second.
B is my vision.
C is what I want.
Why then if I put my ABC on paper is it that I feel absolutely incapable of finding the chronological order, or should it be order of importance, or order of reachability?

Calling in for a consultant here!

Is business done by the heart? I mean we women are pretty familiar with the concept of In case you don’t know, Listen to your Heart. Guys call it a little less velvety Gut Feeling.
Business is done that way, is it?
It is!

Heart and gut feeling do not speak out loud. At least they don’t communicate in this associating-words-language. Where one word easily as by itself follows up onto the other. Without thinking of what comes first and what comes second.
Where did I hear this before?
Fortunately I’ve gotten to know my heart and my gut a bit over the years, we’ve become acquainted. We do not fall into each others arms. But heaven knows what the future beholds.

Heart and gut love it to do things in their own time, at their own pace. If they’re ready to expose, they do. And then it’s like a reconsolidating with my strongest supporter, best beloved friend, respected above all.

Not surprisingly my heart and gut are entities of not many words. How they manage to put the whole essence into often no more then one word, is sheer mystery to me. That one and only word then covers everything I ever wished or hoped for and all I ever wanted to know.

What a consultants! Although I can’t lure them into my world the instant I want. Which makes me wonder and wander a big deal. Some years from Amsterdam to the Philippines and back. Some others from Barcelona to Cape town and back. Sometimes just up and down to the house where I grew up. And sometimes I get stuck in bed.

Hot water and concentrated silence brings my consultants out. But as mere tricks these don’t do. No delivery on command. Sounds like my piece of cake. And yes. So is Reina’s ABC. It needs patience, a little gambling and good health.
Hey! That’s a language I understand. I can focus on that. Without thinking of what comes second and what comes first.