Sometimes life is more real then reality. At times life is deeply touching, highly sensitive, slow as the sun rises and the pointers of a clock turn. That’s when life overtakes reality. The last intense moments before the car you’re driving is losing grip on the road, the tires start spinning, the whole car starts spinning and then time stands still. It shifts into slow motion mode. Did you ever experience this? The momentum is a moment freezing in time. All senses are activated. Hormones are pumping into the blood stream. The car slides fast. Until it hits something. And now the movie fastforwards. Suddenly the car tumbles. It rolls over quickly. A sequence of moments accelerate in time. I see my daughters next to me at the passenger’s seat and behind me on the rear bench. No blood. No screaming. Everyone is in one piece, tightly secured in the seatbelts of the small, light weight rental car. It comes to a stand still. We sigh. The intensity fades away. We’re back in reality.
It isn’t only overwhelming danger that makes time and eternity freeze for a moment or cease to exist all together. When only the very moment counts. When only the very moment is what life is all about. Overwhelming.
I finally find myself in a space where no deep inner thoughts occur. The ones that are negatively driven by fear. Here now, where we are, at the edge of a small mountain lake called Tennyson in the North of New Zealand’s South Island. We are only a couple of hours drive on dirt roads away from civilization. Until this afternoon there were three or four other cars parked out here at the side of the lake. It’s passengers ventured out for a leisurous time. But the wind picked up and quite literally blows them away. The cars leave one after the other. Taking with them the last remnants of civilization. It’s simply stunning out here. We stay. The wind is rocking our little camper van as hard as our little world is rocked by a vast emptiness. Which at the very same time is completely full of abundant life. Real life. We stay in the loft part of the slide on camper, above the cabin of our beloved 4 WD 1973 Landcruiser. The loft is where the mattress is and it feels like we are rocking in a boat on high seas. My feelings are as deep and instinctive as the sheer limitlessness and vast nature that surrounds us. Our skins touching feels as soft as the white cotton like clouds that surround the mountain tops. Silken sun rays reflect silver sparks on mountain creeks. Until raindrops start falling. At first lightly, increasingly relentless. This is the real world. Where men are male and women are female and one and one is one.