The Agreement


What’s an agreement and why does it take time and sometimes effort to reach an agreement? Is an agreement basically a compromise? I like red. You like white. Is the agreement we drink rosé? No. That is a compromise. If I don’t get what I want you also should not get what you want. Both maneageable unhappy is what we call a compromise. A compromise makes us survive. As opposed to truly live, be happy, be angry and reach agreements out of disagreements. It seems to me we tend to focus on compromises. Today the ‘flow of things’ is important and should not be obstructed, at least not completely. In our personal relationships we say yes to what ‘the other’ wants in order for the other to say yes to what we want ourselves. The constant deliberating, debating and dealing becomes the dynamic of the relationship. We find it more important to be heard and our wishes and desires to be taken into account, then that they are being met. We compromise ourselves eagerly. Dealing, debating, arguing, resolving matters is a dynamic and to me it seems one of the most common forms of relationships between individuals, governements and most important, couples. If you say yes, you agree. If you say no, you disagree. Disagreement calls for war or desertion into the dessert of one’s own self. Are you comfortable being alone with yourself in disagreement with the world outside you and/or with  your significant ‘other’ ? During puberty we are. After that we are supposed to no longer (be) like that. So we compromise. We compromise our wishes and desires, we compromise with each other, we compromise the past, the future and the present. It goes without notice, no yelling, no tears. So much better then reaching an agreement over things you don’t agree upon. Or is it maybe worthwhile to sweat, cry and express yourself, to retain your sanity through confrontation, to wade through mud, master dragons and suffocate in order to reach the destination of The Agreement as the defenite and purposeful ending or resolving of the habitual disagreement. We’ve all got our own agendas, fortunately. Like humanity got into a spur because of differentation of professions, we might want to adhere to our differences of opinion rather then forging them into badly fitting merges by way of compromising. 

– soft whispering in the background: 

Soft and snappy: ‘This is so not peaceful’

Esoteric and melodious: ‘It goes entirely against the flow’

With a sigh: ‘Unheard of’

Further away: ‘Indeed! Unheard of…’

-until the mumbling fades 

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